Could you imagine falling in love with someone who you never had fun with? Someone that you checked in with as a roommate or perhaps a coworker, but never as a friend? Of course not! A relationship like that would be on a path to mediocrity if it even continued.
Should we be surprised then if our marriages start on a decline when we stop having fun together? When we get so busy with work or family life that we resort to interacting like roommates? When we forget to make the other person’s interests and enjoyments a priority to us? When we put our own schedule and goals before the activities of our husbands? No, we shouldn’t be surprised.
The good news is that we don’t have to settle for married life living like roommates!
Making sure that we remain one of our husband’s closest friends is a simple but oh-so-important part of keeping a strong connection with our man. Of course he may still want some man-time with his guy buddies, and you will probably still want to enjoy some girly time with your friends. But when you and your husband are really the best of friends that the other has, your marriage is sure to greatly benefit!
Prioritizing friendship in our marriages is also one of the most frugal ways to keep the spark alive. Taking a great interest in his job, hobbies, and other activities really doesn’t have to cost us anything but our time and attention. Plus, chances are, if we build into his interests, he will be more likely to take part in our interests, too!
Let’s imagine that my guy loves the outdoors: camping, backpacking, fishing, hunting, etc. He’s a roughing-it kind of guy, but I prefer four solid walls, central heat and air conditioning, and clean running water on demand. This situation could be seen as either a source of conflict or as an opportunity to show love and friendship to the most important person in my life.
Rather than resent his outdoorsy nature, I could work with it and learn to appreciate it. I could willingly help plan outings and do my best to set up a tent, cook camping food, and enjoy the scenery best as possible. Perhaps, if I really tried, I might even learn to appreciate camping, too.
Truth be told, my husband isn’t into camping, fishing, or sleeping-on-the-ground-roughing-it. He does get excited about new technology from a certain company, and so I’ve learned a bit about it myself. When he watches the release of a new item that he’s excited about, I’ll sit with him if we’re together. I’ll ask about the new gadget and what makes it different. I may not really mind what kind of phone, computer, or tablet I use, but he finds it interesting and exciting, so I’ve chosen to take an interest in it, too.
- If he likes to build things, sit with him while he works and hand him tools. Or, if you’re a bit handy yourself, maybe he’d like you to work along side of him.
- If cars fascinate him, go with him to a car show. Listen to the conversations and see if you can learn along with him.
- If he likes farm work, see if there are ways you could bless his efforts. Learn to drive the tractor and work the tiller.
- If he has an important meeting or interview at work, hide an encouraging note in his briefcase and ask for the details when he gets home.
This is obviously not some kind of exhaustive list. Rather, it’s just something to get us all thinking about how we can become more engaged with the interests of our husbands and use those interests to deepen our friendships with him.
I’ve shared just a small bit about taking part in my husband’s technology interests. I would love to hear about ways you’ve worked to remain your husband’s buddy! How have you tried to keep a strong friendship with your guy?